The sole purpose of sex does not need to be experiencing an orgasm, says ob-gyn Angela Jones, MD. Especially the first time you do it.
Sure, it’s great, and should be something both partners actively work toward as they become more familiar with their own needs, but take the pressure off. Think about sex as a way to connect with your partner on a deeper level, via all its emotional and mental benefits. “An individual’s worth is not tied to whether or not they climax during sex,” says Dr. Angela.
17. Should I fake an orgasm the first time I have sex?
I know pop culture has asiame dating ingrained in us all the need to moan and writhe with pleasure at every single touch, but do yourself a favor down the line and don’t set the bar for this kind of acting. Psychotherapist Nicole Tammelleo says this is especially important the first time you have sex with a new partner. You don’t want to create any unrealistic standards, especially since many people with vaginas don’t have orgasms the first time they have sex with a new partner.
“If you fake an orgasm or tell your partner you had one when you didn’t, it’s harder to communicate your needs in the future,” Tammelleo says. Plus, once you get into the habit of faking, it makes it that much harder to stop, take a step back, and be like, “Actually, what you’re doing doesn’t rock my world as much as you think, sorry.”
18. What should I talk about with my partner before having sex?
Talking about sex with a new partner is a must. “In order to have good sex, you need to communicate your wants, needs, and desires to your partner,” says SKYN’s sex and intimacy expert, Gigi Engle. This includes talking about what this sexual encounter will mean to you, if you are in a casual or serious relationship, if you and/or your partner are planning on being monogamous, and whether or not you are sleeping with other people. “16. Does first-time sex still count if I don’t orgasm? What about if my partner doesn’t orgasm?” の続きを読む